if they’re going to talk about fanfiction in a bad light why not talk about how After romanticizes emotional abuse and manipulation and how 50 Shades of Grey is a bad representation of BDSM when it ignores safe words and leaves the girl uninformed but yeah some thirteen year olds writing something they enjoy is SO much worse
After does NOT romanticise emotional abuse, it fucking shows that no matter how fucked up someone is, there’s still hope for happiness you beanbag!
verbal/emotional abuse definition: Saying or doing something to the other person that causes the person to be afraid and/or have lower self esteem. Trying to manipulate or control the person’s feelings or behaviors.
- name-calling and put downs
- insulting the person or their family (he insults her mom all the time and probably Tessa too)
- yelling and screaming (do i even need to list a specific time)
- harming or threatening harm to the person or the person’s friends, family, pets, and property (Harry beats up Zayn)
- making unwanted comments/sending unwanted messages of a sexual nature to the person
- intimidating the person
- embarrassing the person in front of others
- spreading negative rumors about the person (when Harry calls the landlord or whoever about the apartment Tessa wants to move in to and tells her that Tessa is a drug addict or something, that she brings home people every night. i dont remember specifics but i know that he ruins her chances.)
- preventing the person from seeing or talking to friends and family (THIS. HAPPENS. ALL. THE. TIME. SHE’S LITERALLY NOT ALLOWED TO SEE ZAYN OR THE GIRL WHO WAS HER ROOMMATE FOR A WHILE)
- telling the person what to do
- making the person feel responsible for the violence or abuse (she’s angry that he’s yelling at her and he says that she shouldn’t make him so mad)
- stalking (he was a bit creepy at the beginning idk if i’d say stalking tho)
- making the person feel guilty about wanting to leave the relationship by talking about the abuser’s hard life and how alone and abandoned the abuser will feel if left
- sharing sexual or nude pictures of the person that were given in confidence (the sheets. not technically in this category, but the fucking sheets.)
okay. so i took all those examples from my notes from the dating abuse unit we did in school this past year. I didn’t put in any that weren’t relevant to After, out of 26 examples 15 applied to After. And I didn’t even read the whole thing. This is only emotional/verbal abuse, there are a few, admittedly very few, examples of physical abuse.
And yes, this stuff is romanticized. This story teaches it’s young readers that a relationship like this one is desirable. It teaches readers that if their partner treats you this way, if they cry and beg for you back and say that they’re sorry then you should take them back. It teaches it’s readers that if this happens repeatedly that it’s okay. He manipulates her over and over and over again, and nearly each time she leaves him, he feels bad and cries, and she takes him back. It’s a toxic story with a young audience. Harry is emotionally abusive and manipulative and the fact that he’s based on Harry Styles and the fact that everything ends up happy (I assume, I never finished) is what romanticizes it.
Also, thank you for calling me a beanbag. Beanbags are soft and wonderful and everyone loves them.
An equalist believes that men need just as much liberation as women.
A feminist knows that patriarchy is much more destructive to women and therefore its goals prioritize women.
can we talk about how absolutely stunningly goRGEOUS HARRY LOOKS HERE ?!?! his long hair all full and curling a bit is so BEAUTIFUL ON HIM. like….. he’s always gorgeous. but sometimes he’s just EXTRA GORGEOUS
- That nudity is inherently sexual
- That people should be judged for their personal decisions
- That yelling solves problems
- That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about
- That age correlates to importance
- That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic
- That the default for someone is straight and cisgender
why cant more people realize this?
this spoke to me